So while researching things for my own wedding I came across many common traditions for weddings. Now while growing up I didn't attend many Catholic weddings surprisingly (they were mostly Protestant) so I was surprised to learn the Catholic Church doesn't like to follow some of them and discourages them. Here is a list and some explanations!
First, the unity candle. This custom actually started in non-religious weddings to show unification in the couple. The couple becomes one after marriage which the candle symbolizes. It somehow transferred into religious ceremonies. This custom is not something found in The Rite of Marriage in the Catholic Church, so some priests will not allow it. The decision is really up to them if you can have the custom in your ceremony. Unification is already celebrated in a Catholic wedding because of the liturgy, prayer and the administering of the sacrament.
Next we have "The groom not seeing the bride before the wedding". Really this is a superstition more than a custom or tradition. In ancient times a marriage was basically a business arrangement for families so the bride and groom never even met before then. The groom was kept from seeing her so there would be no disapproval before the marriage. (So basically you couldn't run away if you didn't like what you saw) This has been more often then not abandoned in the current wedding trends. A Catholic ceremony is something the couple administers to each other so it must be of mutual consent. Not seeing the bride before on purpose would symbolize the opposite.
Then comes the brides procession. Most weddings I have been to the bride is escorted by her father, and only her father down the aisle to meet her groom at the altar. The mothers are seated before the procession starts and all of the brides' and grooms' attendants go down the aisle together before the bride and her father enters. This goes back to a time when women were the property of men, so essentially the father was transferring his property to another man.
The Catholic Church discourages this kind of procession. In a Catholic ceremony the procession includes the priests, deacons, the bride and groom escorted by both of their parents, and their wedding party in any assortment. The Catholic church holds that the bride and groom enter marriage mutually and as equals, as complementary partners. The song "Here Comes the Bride" or variations of it are not usually allowed since it only focuses on the bride. This surprised me, and being that it sounds highly feminist to me, we might do it. Mutual agreement and equality is a huge theme in a Catholic ceremony and I LOVE that!
Then we have the veil. The veil really started out as something totally different then what it symbolizes today. Like I mentioned earlier women sadly used to be property in our society (and still considered so in some countries and societies today) , so marriages were arranged and the couple did not meet beforehand. The veil was a way to guard the groom from viewing the bride until after the ceremony to again avoid disapproval. I find it funny that these things were created to stop a man or woman running away from each other so they did't have to marry! It also was used to guard the bride from evil spirits on her wedding day.
The veil has transformed to symbolize chastity and modesty and still does today. The Catholic church does not require a bride to wear a veil to be married. It is up to the bride and her preference. I at first was very against wearing a veil, however I tried some on with dresses for fun- and alas, I want one. But my reasoning has nothing to do with what I talked about here, I just thought it looked nice.
The last tradition I want to talk about is the devotion to the blessed Mary. This is only a Catholic tradition but one I was not aware of. Mary is a role model for the Catholic bride so a bouquet of flowers is usually laid by the statue of Mary in the church as a devotion with some prayers. This is not in The Rite of Marriage but it is seen as a more personal touch that can be added.
Planning a Catholic wedding has been an adventure so far. I find it so funny that while being Catholic I never really knew about this stuff since my family barely attended Catholic weddings. I love how feminism is found in little places like planning a wedding, it makes me smile!
