Men and Feminism

The word feminist has usually been thought of as a feminine word describing a woman. A well known stereotype is the man hating femi-nazi woman. (which to my knowledge does not exist) However, in these modern times the term has also been used to describe men. The term "pro feminist" also is used for those who argue against using "Feminist" for men. I personally think it is okay to use the term feminist for men. I feel if one believes every one, no matter gender or sex, is equal then they can use the term. I do not want to exclude someone from something so important. It's like saying a white person can not be a civil rights activist, obviously that is ridiculous because like civil rights, feminism is a social movement.

In My Red Couch, the book you all know I am currently rereading, there is a story about a couple who meet in college and start dating. The woman is Lutheran and the man is Presbyterian. They had very different upbringings. Their hometowns are different in size and politics. She is conservative and he is more progressive. The man claims himself as a feminist.

Starting out the woman did not really call herself a feminist. She thought men were the head of the household, they drive the car, and the people in her hometown are basically afraid of feminism. As the two dated the woman realized her own feminism through him. They also grew together in their Christianity. The man grew up asking questions about Christianity and it was a family past time to have large theological discussions, but not so much for the woman and her family. She learned how to openly discuss everything, so much that she was almost living in two worlds when she would go home and when she returned to college.

They also learned that being in a feminist relationship means finding the right balance between being individuals and also as a team. One quote I liked was

"This balance might be the product of a healthy relationship between two Christian feminists that emphasizes trust, equality, and regard for each other. And the communication skills that serve our relationship also serve us well in our other relationships."

That right there to me is what a feminist relationship is about. I find it so awesome that the man was a feminist and helped the woman realize she was too. It's not the normal set up you would think of. Stories like this prove to me that feminism is not a women only club, it is open to all sexes, genders, races, ethnicities and orientations. This is where I see feminism going, and really where it has been going in the last ten years or so. I have a feeling that the wonderful women of the second wave of feminism in the 60's did not see men included in this, but times change and generations have new ideas and new theories.

Some cool links on Men and Feminism:
XY Online
Jezebel Article
Fbomb Article

What are your birthing options?

First, take a look at this article. It talks about women in the U.S. dying in childbirth.

Next, lets talk about it. Basically the U.S. is not properly taking care of women when they go to the hospital to birth their child. As noted in Block's article the risks of women dying lie within the almost always unnecessary c-sections and drugs that are given to women for pain (epidural) and inducing labor and contractions. There are serious times when these might be actually needed, but in reality they are not. Most of the time it's to speed up the process (or so it's thought, however I have read stories where it slowed down some women's' labor). The women are on the doctors schedule, not their own time that their body keeps. I personally am offended that someone wouldn't want my body to do what is natural to itself.

If we are supposed to be such a wonderful country why are you five times more likely to die in childbirth here than in Greece? Because it is so hard to give women a CHOICE. Every hospital is different, some are more progressive and let the women make their birth plans, and others will basically ignore what you ask and barely even tell you what is going on when you are in labor, and give you drugs and shots without your consent. It varies so much, and that is so horrible.

On the BabyCenter website there is a lot of information on natural births. It incidentally is a different option for women. You can have your child at home with a midwife, in some hospitals with a doula or midwife and still deliver naturally, and at birth centers. Here are some pros of natural birth from BabyCenter:

*There is no loss of feeling, you are alert and active for the whole labor

*You are free to move around without being hooked up to an IV or monitor.

*You can choose which position you want to be in, kneeling, sitting..what ever is comfy. (Most women do not like to lay down which hospitals force you to do...if you move it may help the pain)

*You are less likely than the women who get epidurals to need intervention like forcing contractions, getting a catheter, or needing forceps.

The only huge disadvantages are the plain fact that it does hurt, I mean come on, a baby coming from your vagina will hurt. But there are many things to help relieve some pain, and many stories that I have read online have said you feel so empowered that you can do it alone that the pain doesn't matter. If you happen to have complications, there are always back-up plans.

I feel if more women knew the options and given a choice we might have better numbers with labor deaths. We don't need to medicalize child birth unless there are serious complications. Less c-sections, more choices and then maybe, just maybe you could have a birth at a hospital without problems and discomfort.

Here are a few other websites I came across for info and personal stories of natural birth:

http://www.haveanaturalchildbirth.com/

Madison Birth Center

www.givingbirthnaturally.com

My Red Couch Quotes

The book that I mentioned last time was My Red Couch And Other Stories on Seeking a Feminist Faith. It's edited by Claire Bischoff and Rachel Gaffron. The book is filled with many stories of women who are many different denominations. I want to share with you all some quotes from the book that I connect to and maybe you will too.

"I realized that the image I'd understood to be the acceptable Christian woman was actually the very image Jesus shattered every day of his ministry. Jesus did not pat passive women on the head and urge them to be more subservient-that was the identity their culture dictated to them. Rather, he called women like the one caught in adultery to speak her own forgiveness. He honored women who spent their entire lives giving themselves away with the chance to rest and to gather themselves back."

-Heather Scheiwe

I have met many people who believe women should be passive, it's a stereotype that has existed for so long. You know: women should be quiet, not radical, get married to a man and serve him, don't talk back and know your place at home and in the church. That sounds very archaic to say the least. In modern times this is still present (I still know people) however sometimes they are undertones. There is a modern mask and under lies the same passiveness. Society created that, not Christianity.

I love this quote because it tosses the passive image. Jesus doesn't want women to be passive, they should be loud and bold. They should dance and sing. They should have opinions and beliefs and the courage to stick to them even when it's not the popular choice. To me, this is saying Jesus endorses feminism. Feminism is all of those things: loud and bold, dancing and singing, courage and confidence. It is everything good and positive in life. Feminism is having the strength to not be passive, to having a voice in the world.

The other one is actually a bible verse that was brought up many times in this book.

Galatians 3:28 "There is no longer Jew nor Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus"

You are one. No genders,no biological sex, nothing. Just one. That is a great verse. You do not have to dwell on what makes you different all the time (however I feel it makes people unique so still honor that when its needed). Jesus sees no difference between men and women, everyone is mixed together. Wouldn't it be nice if the catholic church could follow this verse when speaking of women being priests? This verse is saying it doesn't matter who you are, you can worship God. The thing about the verses is everyone interprets it differently, that is the road block and the challenge. Someday maybe someone will knock some sense into the pope....

The First Of Many

For my first entry I thought I would explain my thoughts on why I am doing this and what it's about. I have always enjoyed writing and have wanted to venture into the blog world for a while now.

Back in my sophomore year of college I decided I was a christian feminist. I grew up catholic, was baptized, received first communion and went through confirmation. So being a catholic christian is an identity I have had and known even when I struggled with it. It wasn't until my spring semester of my freshman year I knew what feminism was. I had always been a very independent thinker growing up and never conformed to the norm of what a little girl should think or want. I admired many women in history. All that time I was a feminist, I just didn't understand what that was until I took a Women's Studies class.

So, my sophomore year I converged the two identities and bam! I went on an adventure and wrote a research paper on it complete with interviewing women pastors. I only covered the surface but I educated myself on the topic and decided I was that, a Christian feminist. The rest of my college experience I slowly floated away from going to church and god until I was very frustrated and would not address the issue within myself.

Recently I had the pull to figure things out. I knew I was missing something, something personal. I decided that my time during lent this year, 2010, would be a time to try to peel back the cover to this grid-locked struggle and examine it. My partner is also catholic, so we decided to do it together. I have attended mass every Sunday as well as rereading a book I got my sophomore year of college called My Red Couch. It's about finding your feminist faith.

I created this blog with the intention of just talking about feminism and everything that has to do with it, but it now has turned into that plus Christianity. Not everything I say will always have to do with Christianity, but it will probably almost always have something to do with feminism. I critically analyze most things with a feminist lens. I am not an expert at Christianity, so stay with me as I mix my feminism with it.