Natural Family Planning

A few weeks ago my partner and I attended a few marriage classes we are required to take in order to get married in the Catholic Church. One class focused on sex and touched on natural family planning. I know what you are thinking, a couple who has 10 children practice natural family planning because they pay no attention, do not use any birth control and let themselves get pregnant. Am I right? Or maybe something along those lines? I guess I also thought this myself before I took the class. It turns out its not the real case.

The Catholic Church supports the use of natural family planning which is used to avoid pregnancy and to get pregnant. The most common method and most effective method is Sympto-Thermal. In this method you chart the primary signs of fertility which are: cervical mucus, basal body temperature, and cervical changes as well as secondary signs. Doing this every morning at the same time will give you data, the real numbers to show you your cycle and which exact day you move from being not fertile to fertile- when you release an egg. The huge indicator is when your temperature increases and decreases. You do not have to have a "regular cycle" in order to chart and make this method work. It allows you to work with your own cycle and body.

This method is also known as Fertility Awareness to physicians, however it is not looked at as a  good method to avoid pregnancy alone. In order for this to work you must abstain from sex during the fertile period and be very strict with it. According to a report in Europe's Human Reproduction Today journal there is a study that was done with results published in 2007 on the effectiveness of natural family planning. The rate of unplanned pregnancies was around 0.4% per year meaning out of the 900 women who took part of study, 1.8 per 100 became pregnant. For something to be rated just as effective as the hormonal birth control pill, there should be less than one pregnancy per 100 women in a year.The rates in the study translated to one pregnancy per 250 women per year, which then in this study makes natural family planning just as effective. I found this piece of information pretty awesome to say the least. There are certain factors going into it, like only having sex when your temperature changes correctly to avoid pregnancy and the period of abstinence- but that can be true of the pill. You have to take it the same time every day, and it doesn't work well when you are super sick; there are still small risks of getting pregnant. However, it must be noted that this method is not easy. You must be very studious and stay on task with charting everyday because your cycle can change from month to month. If you become lazy, the effectiveness goes out the window.I think this is a misunderstood method and can be a great option for some couples.

My next thought after learning all the scientific data about this method was, is this a feminist method to go about planning a family and avoiding pregnancy? You are working with your body, listening to it. It tells you exactly when you can get pregnant and when it's less of a risk. You are not ignoring your body and letting a pill control your cycle. Being one with your body to me is very feminist. You also respect your body in a sense that you trust it to do what it was made to do, let you know what is going on. I feel you take control of your body and reproductive system in a very intimate way that you cannot do otherwise. Do you think it is a feminist method?

Child Care Costs More Than College?

This recently surfaced a few days ago and caught my eye. Now, I knew child care was expensive but it has been stated from the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies that child care in the U.S. for one year is equal to or more than one year of college! Is that not crazy?! The topic came out on Good Morning America. Click Here to see the article and watch the video about it.

This is a huge issue for families and women who have children. Who can afford such a thing? I mean, parents try to save for college and it turns out sending their children to school is the same as sending them to college...which isn't supposed to happen in 18 more years or so. What happened from the time child care was affordable to the present time where child care seems more like a luxury than a need?

I was researching online and rummaging through random websites that providers made or discussion boards and it seems one needs to understand what makes child care so expensive. First off providers need to pay for the rent or building and all things that would go into a normal budget- so utilities, insurance, pay for employees and insurance for employees. Then the equipment comes in. When taking care of children you need cleaning supplies, craft supplies, food for every age, safe toys and things like tables and chairs. It doesn't help either that a majority of child care providers are non-profit and do not have any extra money as well. Parents do not realize that when they pay for child care they have to pay for everything their child does- so it's like paying twice, once for being in your own home and another time for your child eating and playing somewhere else. If the costs for all those individual things have gone up, then so does rates for child care.

Child care providers are not paid well by any means and take many beatings just to make sure that children are cared for during the day. Most are barely getting minimum wage for roughly 12 hour shifts without any breaks other than nap time. Child care workers are saints in my book.

The other issue is when single mothers have low paying jobs or no jobs at all and on unemployment childcare is literally impossible. This is a huge strain on every family matter. Money is always a strain. Single mothers are prone to slipping into poverty and having low paying jobs, and once you slip in its hard to get out. If you work long hours for barely anything how do you feed your child and who takes care of it during the day? If you are looking for a better job who takes care of the child when you are applying places and interviewing? These questions are more easily answered when you have a partner or spouse but what happens when you don't have that?

I will leave you with this stack of information. Here is a website that gives a weekly rate of what child care costs in MN in the Twin Cities counties which is broken into cities on the chart. You can find charts like this for every state. In my home town it averages to be about $162 a week for an infant, $150 for a toddler, $138 for preschool and $128 for school age. Keep in mind when you go deeper into the city like Minneapolis it can be $200 or more for one week.

I would love to see more innovative ways to lower the costs of child care in the future for my generations future children. The way things are going right now, there is no way I could afford child care on top of my other bills. I'm sure it is like that for most people.

History Lesson

I really am sorry about my tardiness this summer. I can not find time to do anything let alone write every day or every week. However I confess when I write I am a happier person, so I have definitely missed writing blogs. Let's try to stay on top on this, shall we?

I just recently have acquired a new book called Who Cooked the Last Supper? The Women's History of the World. That is such an intriguing question is it not? My assumption is a woman cooked it, but I am still in the introduction of the book...I will tell you what I find out. This book in general got me thinking about the real fact that women in general have a very small place in history books. It's only been about 3o or so years since women started really diving into things and been written into history hard-core, or at least as hard-core as you can get in our still sexist world where women still don't get equal pay. With the thousands of years of history that exist, I'd say we have a really long way to go to say women are represented enough in our history.

The part that annoys me the most is that women have existed since the beginning of time (When ever that happened) yet there is rarely a mention of them. You know they existed because babies were born, and without women there would be no babies. I have a separate book that just gives random women's history facts called 1001 Things Everyone Should Know About Women's History. Now I do admit that while growing up I did learn about important women in history, but there are not many past 1850 that you hear about. It was mainly the same ones too, Betsy Ross, Harriet Tubman, Susan B. Anthony, Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale...you know what I'm talking about. But in this book I have read about women I have never heard of, and even if their experience was small to say the least it was nice to read about it. Sometimes I learn things that were untrue from what I thought I knew, like Joan of Arc. Apparently she was burned at the stake because she was wearing pants, men's pants at that, not because of heresy.

We were taught something else in elementary school to protect us from what really was sexism and oppression because of crossing gender boundaries. Why wouldn't you want to teach what that is? That to me seems like something fundamental to teach to elementary kids, why some people get treated badly, and include women in that list since I know things like slavery are already taught as oppression in human history. Also, use the real facts. Example, Christopher Columbus did not discover America per se, he discovered the Bahamas. However I remember being taught that he did discover America. ugh.

My message today is simply, find out a story or some history about a woman. Everyones' stories are history so the more you talk to people the more knowledge you gain.

I am a Symbolist, Revisionist and Liberationist. How about you?

Not sure if anyone reads this or checks back. Sorry I have been absent for about a month or so. Life with a job is busy! Funny how that works.

As of recent I have been reading many more books on Christian feminism and the movement in America. The first book I read was called Beyond Anger. Now, most of the books I have been reading are about Catholicism. One chapter was naming examples of categories or groups of catholic feminists. There were: marginalist, loyalist, symbolist, revisionist, and liberationist. The marginalist is said to be one to hold all anger inside until all energy is used to destruct rather than to be creative. They spiritually have nothing and do not know what they want to believe. The loyalist is just what it sounds like. They like tradition and need to be involved in the community. If they ask too many questions, or be too feminist that may threaten their needs. The symbolist focuses on symbols and feminine imagery in the bible. They are thought to be introverted, mystical, impractical and dreamy. The revisionist believes the judeo- christian traditions are more history and culturally based, not theologically. They like to "read between the lines", telling history from the perspective of a woman; reminds me of The Woman's Bible by Elizabeth Cady Stanton. The end goal is reform. Finally we come to the liberationist. They want to transform society through conversion, liberate them. They want society to be able to claim their own lives and claim their experience of God and their place in the church.

I know that is a quick explanation but it's so much longer than that and I have no other idea how to condense such good stuff. I feel like I am a combination of the last three types: symbolist, revisionist and liberationist. I love the whole "have a voice" attitude and claiming your own experiences. I also feel I try to read between the lines of many things, and I definitely am dreamy and spacey and loves symbols and signs in life. I think it is like feminism, there are many different kinds. There are many different kinds of christian feminism, and it just keeps on getting more diverse every day.

What's in a name?

Identity. That is the plain and simple truth. A name to anything identifies it. Names are very important in our society; they were one hundred years ago and they still are important today. Parents spend sometimes months pondering names for their children while they wait for them to arrive and sometimes they still don't have a name when the child is born.

We have a primary identity from our name that which people call us but we also have other identities, other words that explain who we are and sometimes give more information than a name can. Some for me are: woman, catholic, feminist, liberal, human, singer and dancer. Those are lumped together but really I see myself as two things, as Amanda and as a feminist.

When I say I am a Christian Feminist, the main word is feminist. It is something that will always be involved in every part of my life. I am a feminist who believes in a god and chooses the Christian Catholic faith to play that belief out. I am a feminist who chooses to be liberal in my thoughts and actions. I am a feminist who is human and vulnerable to things like free will. I am a feminist who is a woman. I am a feminist who expresses emotions through singing and dancing. I am always first a feminist. Who are you?

Men and Feminism

The word feminist has usually been thought of as a feminine word describing a woman. A well known stereotype is the man hating femi-nazi woman. (which to my knowledge does not exist) However, in these modern times the term has also been used to describe men. The term "pro feminist" also is used for those who argue against using "Feminist" for men. I personally think it is okay to use the term feminist for men. I feel if one believes every one, no matter gender or sex, is equal then they can use the term. I do not want to exclude someone from something so important. It's like saying a white person can not be a civil rights activist, obviously that is ridiculous because like civil rights, feminism is a social movement.

In My Red Couch, the book you all know I am currently rereading, there is a story about a couple who meet in college and start dating. The woman is Lutheran and the man is Presbyterian. They had very different upbringings. Their hometowns are different in size and politics. She is conservative and he is more progressive. The man claims himself as a feminist.

Starting out the woman did not really call herself a feminist. She thought men were the head of the household, they drive the car, and the people in her hometown are basically afraid of feminism. As the two dated the woman realized her own feminism through him. They also grew together in their Christianity. The man grew up asking questions about Christianity and it was a family past time to have large theological discussions, but not so much for the woman and her family. She learned how to openly discuss everything, so much that she was almost living in two worlds when she would go home and when she returned to college.

They also learned that being in a feminist relationship means finding the right balance between being individuals and also as a team. One quote I liked was

"This balance might be the product of a healthy relationship between two Christian feminists that emphasizes trust, equality, and regard for each other. And the communication skills that serve our relationship also serve us well in our other relationships."

That right there to me is what a feminist relationship is about. I find it so awesome that the man was a feminist and helped the woman realize she was too. It's not the normal set up you would think of. Stories like this prove to me that feminism is not a women only club, it is open to all sexes, genders, races, ethnicities and orientations. This is where I see feminism going, and really where it has been going in the last ten years or so. I have a feeling that the wonderful women of the second wave of feminism in the 60's did not see men included in this, but times change and generations have new ideas and new theories.

Some cool links on Men and Feminism:
XY Online
Jezebel Article
Fbomb Article

What are your birthing options?

First, take a look at this article. It talks about women in the U.S. dying in childbirth.

Next, lets talk about it. Basically the U.S. is not properly taking care of women when they go to the hospital to birth their child. As noted in Block's article the risks of women dying lie within the almost always unnecessary c-sections and drugs that are given to women for pain (epidural) and inducing labor and contractions. There are serious times when these might be actually needed, but in reality they are not. Most of the time it's to speed up the process (or so it's thought, however I have read stories where it slowed down some women's' labor). The women are on the doctors schedule, not their own time that their body keeps. I personally am offended that someone wouldn't want my body to do what is natural to itself.

If we are supposed to be such a wonderful country why are you five times more likely to die in childbirth here than in Greece? Because it is so hard to give women a CHOICE. Every hospital is different, some are more progressive and let the women make their birth plans, and others will basically ignore what you ask and barely even tell you what is going on when you are in labor, and give you drugs and shots without your consent. It varies so much, and that is so horrible.

On the BabyCenter website there is a lot of information on natural births. It incidentally is a different option for women. You can have your child at home with a midwife, in some hospitals with a doula or midwife and still deliver naturally, and at birth centers. Here are some pros of natural birth from BabyCenter:

*There is no loss of feeling, you are alert and active for the whole labor

*You are free to move around without being hooked up to an IV or monitor.

*You can choose which position you want to be in, kneeling, sitting..what ever is comfy. (Most women do not like to lay down which hospitals force you to do...if you move it may help the pain)

*You are less likely than the women who get epidurals to need intervention like forcing contractions, getting a catheter, or needing forceps.

The only huge disadvantages are the plain fact that it does hurt, I mean come on, a baby coming from your vagina will hurt. But there are many things to help relieve some pain, and many stories that I have read online have said you feel so empowered that you can do it alone that the pain doesn't matter. If you happen to have complications, there are always back-up plans.

I feel if more women knew the options and given a choice we might have better numbers with labor deaths. We don't need to medicalize child birth unless there are serious complications. Less c-sections, more choices and then maybe, just maybe you could have a birth at a hospital without problems and discomfort.

Here are a few other websites I came across for info and personal stories of natural birth:

http://www.haveanaturalchildbirth.com/

Madison Birth Center

www.givingbirthnaturally.com

My Red Couch Quotes

The book that I mentioned last time was My Red Couch And Other Stories on Seeking a Feminist Faith. It's edited by Claire Bischoff and Rachel Gaffron. The book is filled with many stories of women who are many different denominations. I want to share with you all some quotes from the book that I connect to and maybe you will too.

"I realized that the image I'd understood to be the acceptable Christian woman was actually the very image Jesus shattered every day of his ministry. Jesus did not pat passive women on the head and urge them to be more subservient-that was the identity their culture dictated to them. Rather, he called women like the one caught in adultery to speak her own forgiveness. He honored women who spent their entire lives giving themselves away with the chance to rest and to gather themselves back."

-Heather Scheiwe

I have met many people who believe women should be passive, it's a stereotype that has existed for so long. You know: women should be quiet, not radical, get married to a man and serve him, don't talk back and know your place at home and in the church. That sounds very archaic to say the least. In modern times this is still present (I still know people) however sometimes they are undertones. There is a modern mask and under lies the same passiveness. Society created that, not Christianity.

I love this quote because it tosses the passive image. Jesus doesn't want women to be passive, they should be loud and bold. They should dance and sing. They should have opinions and beliefs and the courage to stick to them even when it's not the popular choice. To me, this is saying Jesus endorses feminism. Feminism is all of those things: loud and bold, dancing and singing, courage and confidence. It is everything good and positive in life. Feminism is having the strength to not be passive, to having a voice in the world.

The other one is actually a bible verse that was brought up many times in this book.

Galatians 3:28 "There is no longer Jew nor Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus"

You are one. No genders,no biological sex, nothing. Just one. That is a great verse. You do not have to dwell on what makes you different all the time (however I feel it makes people unique so still honor that when its needed). Jesus sees no difference between men and women, everyone is mixed together. Wouldn't it be nice if the catholic church could follow this verse when speaking of women being priests? This verse is saying it doesn't matter who you are, you can worship God. The thing about the verses is everyone interprets it differently, that is the road block and the challenge. Someday maybe someone will knock some sense into the pope....

The First Of Many

For my first entry I thought I would explain my thoughts on why I am doing this and what it's about. I have always enjoyed writing and have wanted to venture into the blog world for a while now.

Back in my sophomore year of college I decided I was a christian feminist. I grew up catholic, was baptized, received first communion and went through confirmation. So being a catholic christian is an identity I have had and known even when I struggled with it. It wasn't until my spring semester of my freshman year I knew what feminism was. I had always been a very independent thinker growing up and never conformed to the norm of what a little girl should think or want. I admired many women in history. All that time I was a feminist, I just didn't understand what that was until I took a Women's Studies class.

So, my sophomore year I converged the two identities and bam! I went on an adventure and wrote a research paper on it complete with interviewing women pastors. I only covered the surface but I educated myself on the topic and decided I was that, a Christian feminist. The rest of my college experience I slowly floated away from going to church and god until I was very frustrated and would not address the issue within myself.

Recently I had the pull to figure things out. I knew I was missing something, something personal. I decided that my time during lent this year, 2010, would be a time to try to peel back the cover to this grid-locked struggle and examine it. My partner is also catholic, so we decided to do it together. I have attended mass every Sunday as well as rereading a book I got my sophomore year of college called My Red Couch. It's about finding your feminist faith.

I created this blog with the intention of just talking about feminism and everything that has to do with it, but it now has turned into that plus Christianity. Not everything I say will always have to do with Christianity, but it will probably almost always have something to do with feminism. I critically analyze most things with a feminist lens. I am not an expert at Christianity, so stay with me as I mix my feminism with it.